Well, I guess we can’t have all sunshiney days, can we? Mr. Bug took a pretty big step backward today and ended up at the end of today with more intervention than he was on even a week ago. This is NOT good news! The only ray of light is that he was already so much improved that he actually had some space to step backward and not die. We don’t know why this happened, it just does sometimes. We knew this process would be steps forward and steps backward, but we hoped the steps backward would be smaller than the steps forward, not bigger! It is hard, but we have to take deep breaths and realize that after a week of steady improvement, one bad day is not the end of the line for him. It is just one day. Tomorrow is a brand new day, and if he is still fighting tomorrow, that is a victory all in itself! It sure would be nice to have one day where everything was right in all aspects of life, though. Tomorrow we will have another big meeting with all the doctors, and we will have a better big picture of what is going on. We have a LOT of questions to ask, and we have not been able to be at the hospital very much during the day, since I’ve gone back to work and BSF, so we feel a little disconnected at the moment.
It has been so easy to feel depressed and sad about all of this, and hard to understand why this little one who has had so much hardship and is still on innocent would be handed this fate when he has just begun a new, normal life! Why is God picking on a baby?
I can almost hear God shouting from the whirlwind,
Who is this that darkens counsel
By words without knowledge?
Now gird up your loins like a man,
And I will ask you, and you instruct Me!
Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell Me, if you have understanding,
Who set its measurements? Since you know.
Or who stretched the line on it?
On what were its bases sunk?
Or who laid its cornerstone,
When the morning stars sang together
And all the sons of God shouted for joy?
Or who enclosed the sea with doors
When, bursting forth, it went out from the womb;
When I made a cloud its garment
And thick darkness its swaddling band,
And I placed boundaries on it
And set a bolt and doors,
And I said, ‘Thus far you shall come, but no farther;
And here shall your proud waves stop’?
Have you ever in your life commanded the morning,
And caused the dawn to know its place,
That it might take hold of the ends of the earth,
And the wicked be shaken out of it?
It is changed like clay under the seal;
And they stand forth like a garment.
From the wicked their light is withheld,
And the uplifted arm is broken.
Have you entered into the springs of the sea
Or walked in the recesses of the deep?
Have the gates of death been revealed to you,
Or have you seen the gates of deep darkness?
Have you understood the expanse of the earth?
Tell Me, if you know all this…
Now gird up your loins like a man;
I will ask you, and you instruct Me.
Will you really annul My judgment?
Will you condemn Me that you may be justified?
Or do you have an arm like God,
And can you thunder with a voice like His?
Adorn yourself with eminence and dignity,
And clothe yourself with honor and majesty.
Pour out the overflowings of your anger,
And look on everyone who is proud, and make him low.
Look on everyone who is proud, and humble him,
And tread down the wicked where they stand.
Hide them in the dust together;
Bind them in the hidden place.
Then I will also confess to you,
That your own right hand can save you…
Please pray for us that we respond correctly:
I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’
Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.”
‘Hear, now, and I will speak;
I will ask You, and You instruct me.’
“I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You;
Therefore I retract,
And I repent in dust and ashes.
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