I was talking to my mom last night, and it came up in conversation that of her college educable children, 100% of her children have at least two years of college education, and half have beyond a master’s degree, and one a PhD. 75% have above-average income, and 100% have avoided long-term poverty. I have one brother with Down Syndrome, and he was homeschooled through grade 8, then completed his high school special ed program at our local public school. He now works in agriculture, is involved in theater, sports, and a band through Teri. Even he is considered to be successful.
This conversation was initiated by my asking her (in a very round-about way) how she felt in hindsight about moms homeschooling whey they, themselves, are possibly not college educated, or do not view themselves as remarkably intelligent. Because that was my mom way back in the very early 80’s when she pulled us out of private school in favor of (illegally) homeschooling us. She always told us that she was not very smart (which couldn’t be more false, lol!), that she struggled through many subjects in school, and that while she had her AA, it was an arts and crafts degree from the 70’s, and she barely remembered any of the academic work. And yet she homeschooled 5 children, 2 of them from start to finish, 2 of them for at least 9 of their 13 years in school, and one of them special needs. 2 of her children have advanced science degrees, even though science and math were subjects she felt overwhelmingly inadequate to teach. I told her that I have recently had many conversations with moms about their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy with homeschooling. They say, “You are good at it because you have two masters degrees and are a college professor. But I barely graduated high school/college/don’t remember anything! How can I do this?” But I think of my mom. She came from trauma, a broken home, had a run-of-the-mill, general high school education followed by an art degree from a community college. She had a negative perception of her own intelligence and skills…and even so, her success rate was far higher than that of any public school teacher!
She is not very different than you may be. Think about that. Even with all of your perceived inadequacies, the personal testimony of homeschool moms, as well as recent studies, definitively prove that your homeschooled children who graduate high school as homeschoolers will likely perform an average of 10% better than their traditionally-schooled peers. Even though their teachers (you and the other homeschooling parents) are not trained to educate. Even though they don’t get the daily peer socialization. Even though your home does not have the resources available to traditionally-schooled children. Even though. A simple online search will show the outcomes.
I’m going to let you in on a secret. Your perceived inadequacies do not often match reality. You ARE smart. You ARE trained to educate (Didn’t you spend at least 13 years learning how education works?). You DO have the resources to teach your children right there in your home and community! And you have an overwhelming advantage over your traditionally-schooling peers (teachers): You know your children and their learning styles better than any teacher can. You have observed and studied them since birth (in most cases). You have already tried those things that don’t work, and you know what does work before your child begins kindergarten.
Here’s the thing. The goal of education is generally this: to give your children the skills they need to live well as adults in a socially acceptable way. Most homeschoolers easily slide into college and perform as intelligent mainstream individuals, with all of the successes, challenges, and skills of their peers. Even those formerly-homeschooled adults who decide not to attend college, who do not live a mainstream life, generally have lives that are filled with an outside-the-box, yet fulfilling, approach. They are entrepreneurs, tradespersons, paid travelers, humanitarians, missionaries, stay-at-home parents, bakers, Etsy shop owners, etc. They generally thrive, because they know what they are good at. Whether homeschooled adults attend college or do not attend college, they have had the space in their childhood to discover what their best life can be. They have not been trained to be satisfied with the box offered by traditional education.
Now, there are exceptions, of course, and exceptions can be fuel for our anxieties. And our anxieties can be the greatest motivation for our success! Grab ahold of what you fear in becoming a teacher, turn it upside down, shake it a little, and sit on it. Then get down to the business of becoming an amazing homeschool parent.
And you know what? After all those years of my mom proving to herself that she is one of the most intelligent, creative, competent teachers she knows, she has gained a self-confidence that she would likely not have developed otherwise. She is the most teachiest teacher she knows.
The same will happen to you. It’s your amazing reward when all is said in done.
I believe in you. My mom believes in you. The millions of homeschool parents that came before you believe in you. We have proof in our experiences to back up our beliefs. We are here for you with open arms, a shoulder to cry on, a brain to pick, as a resource for recommendations, as someone who fully understands, as someone who as ready to give a hug and a high five and send you back to what feels like your crazy homeschooling life. We trust you. You have everything you need. You can do this.
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